Wear My Scars
by SakuraSasuke500
Summary: Ellie, Paige and Marco just get home from a cruise, but an unespected turn forces then to think more of there depressed friend. Takes place during season 7


**My first Sellie Degrassi FanFic. Enjoy.**

_Pairings: Sellie._

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**Ellie POV**

I smiled as Paige, Marco and I got inside our apartment which we left a week before. We just got back from a amazing cuise, and we were finaly relaxed from our bills and lives. But we all need to get to work right now. So we all basically threw our suite casses on our beds and walked out the door. Paige and Marco were ready in like 5 seconds flat, at the door. "Hun, hurry or your going to be late!" Paige warned.

"Okay Paige, I'll be out in five! Go on ahead and I'll see you at dinner!" I shouted from my room and heard the door slam shut, I sighed as I dug through my closet for something comfortable to wear. As my hands fastly moved the hangers in my closet, my hand hit something and it fell to the floor. I sow it was my old CD holder. I froze in place and stared at the case. I picked it up, abandening the outfit search, and sat on my bed with it. I slowly and hesetently pulled the zipper open, and picked up my compass, the famous compass that started it all. I thought for a moment before pulling up my sleeve and gazing at my untouched arm. I havent looked at my arm like that since I was cutting. Now, all the presure from the years wanted to come out, screaming for me to cut, if only once.

I held the compass to my skin and pressed down as hard as I could, a stream of blood was flowing out of the fresh wound. _Just one more cut. _I thought, not satisfied. I pressed harder on my wrist this time, and twice or three times the amount of blood came out. And I cut again and again, until I realized what I did. I then ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, but in a matter of moments the towel was soaked in blood, and I began to feel lightheaded, and I fell to the floor with a thud.

I assumed the fetal position, crying as I remembered all the good times, and the bad ones. Who I was leaving behind, What things I didn't get to do, because deep down, I knew I was dying, and no one could do anything about it.

With new found strength, I got up and stumbled to my bed and wrote a apology to Paige, Marco, Ash, and anyone else I could think of. When I finished my note, I sat up through pain and opened a photobook, and I looked through the book, being carefull to not get blood on it, I smiled weakly as I looked through the pictures of everyone and the times we spent._ I'm going to miss you guys._

**7 Hours Later. Paige POV**

I walked into me, Marco, and Ellie's apartment **exausted**_._I groaned as I threw myself on the couch in the apartment. I then went over the days events, which left me to when I got out of my car and practicly ran inside. _Wait, did I see Ellie's car out there?_ I thought as I got up from the couch and went over to the window that looked over to the parking lot, and sure enough, Ellie's car was there. _That's weird, I didn't hear her say 'hi' when I opened the door, and she should be at work for another half-hour. _I walked back to the front door to the stairs and gripped the wall surrounding the stairs. "Ellie? Hun are you here?" I called out for her. When there was no answer I jogged up the stairs, first I went to the bathroom, she could be going to the bathroom for all I know. I knocked on the door. "Ellie are you in there?" Still no answer. "Ellie I'm comming in." I opened the door and sow a trail of blood and a blood soaked towl, I put a hand on my chest and held on to the door frame. "Oh god, Ellie!"

I ran Ellie's door and knocked franticly. "Ellie open the god damn door!" I threw the door open and took a moment to regester the scene with wide eyes. Ellie curled up in her bed, holding a old photo album, her bed soaked in blood just like the towel in the bathroom, a pad with a pen on her night stand had small drops of blood on it too. Seeing the horifying scene, I fell to my knees and let out silent tears for a few moments, shaking my head. "God Ellie..." Trying to find hope I ran to Ellie and pulled out her wrist that wasn't as badly slashed, and checked for a pulse. "Come on Ellie..." I whispered as I felt no pulse for a moment. And after what seemed like hours, I let go of her wrist.

The door opened and closed with a thud. "Paige? Are you home?" Marco yelled for me. I ran down the stairs and threw myself into Marco's chest and cryed my heart out.

**A week Later (Normal POV)**

Marco, Ashly, Paige, Jimmy, Spinner, and basicly everyone who knew Ellie sat in two vans to drive to her funeral. Marco looked to Paige, who was sitting next to him, and touched her arm. "Paige are you okay?" Marco asked, Paige tried to look normal, but her stairing staight ahead with glossy eyes was a dead give-away that that something was wrong.

"I am fine Marco. I will not cry a single tear." Paige said, sniffing.

"Paige, it's okay to be sad, and cry, and be angry. It's normal."Jimmy said, who was in a wheel chair, between Ashly and Spinner.

"No. Ellie wouldn't want anyone crying, so I'm not going to." Paige said. Spinner laughed bitterly.

"Ellie wouldn't want to be dead ethier." Spinner said.

"Spin..." Marco warned. Spinner shook his head.

"No. Ellie should be here, we don't even know if-if it was a accidental suiside, or, or, something else!" Spinner yelled. There was a pause, and Ashly decided to brake it, she smiled and shook her head.

"This is all just...so weird. I can bearly tell that Ellie's gone. She was, just always there, always joking." Ashly's attempt to brake the silence, actually backfired and created more of it. So, they sat in silence for a while, until Marco also smiled.

"H-Hey, remember the time we had that water fight?" Marco asked, to no one in perticular. " That was so much fun." Spinner smiled too.

"And the way you got rejected?" Marco smiled weakly.

"Hey..." Marco said with a playfull tone. "Well, what about the time she '_rejected' _you spinner?"

"Well...um...there-there's a perfectly good explaination...somewhere?" Everyone laughed a little while Paige just kept looking blank.

"Do you guys know if Sean's comming? Or Jesse, or better yet her mom?" Paige asked, trying to forget anything and everything about ellie, so she wouldn't cry. Marco thought for a moment, hard, and so did Jimmy and Spinner.

"Well, Jesse's in the other van, her mom is in rehab, again, and Sean..." Marco started.

"Might show or might not." Ashly said bluntly. The van stopped and Marco opened the sliding door and helped Paige, and Ash out as Spinner got the ramp for Jimmy, and helpped him down it as Marco, Paige and Ash waited. And as they were getting unloaded, the Jay, Alex, Manny, Emma, Jesse, Craig, Liberty, Jane, Toby, Snake, Spike and Hazel met Marco Paige and Ash.

"So..." Jay said. "Everyone ready?" Jay sighed, as everyone nodded and went inside the small, lonely, funeral parlar. Ellie's was in the farthest room, when they all entered, her dad, and other relatives were already there. Everyone took a seat, and waited person by person to give there last respects.

Alex smirked. "I guess she really is a Vampire now, eh Jay?" She asked her friend, who smiled sincerly and nodded. "Now I have to seriously lock my windows and doors.

"Are you kidding?" Jay asked. "She would never suck _your _blood, besides, she would telaport or what not." Alex shrugged.

"I guess your right." Jay looked over to her, straight in the eyes.

"Huh, you let me win that battle." Jay said and smiled.

"It's just like JT's funeral, isn't it Liberty?" Toby asked, she nodded.

"They should have hosted Ellie's at Degrassi though." She protested, Toby nodded. "I fell bad that I bearly knew her though."

"Me too Lib." Toby smiled.

Paige sniffled agian, and rubbed the top of her cheeks, Marco rubbed her back. "Paige..." Paige sniffled again. Jimmy looked away, and sighed. Ashley noticed and got up from her chair.

"Jimmy, lets go up and say goodbye." Ashly proposed, Jimmy nodded. They walked up to the opened cascet, and sow one of there friends, in black, like the rest of them, the same red hair, curled, she could almost pass for alive, if you look bast her scars and deathly paleness. "Hey El, you okay, everyone is real sad that your gone, and even if what Spinner said is true or not, if you did it on pourpose or something, we're going to miss you. Sorry we couldn't have the funeral at Degrassi. It sucked, we spent some of our best days there and you can't even have your funeral there."

"Um..." Jimmy had dificulty talking to a someone who he knew wouldn't answer him, just like talking to a wall. "I'm sorry for asking you out, if that has anything to do with it. And for being mean to you sorta back in saturday detention. We're all going to miss you, Paige is real sad now too, hopefully she'll get over it though. Spin's mad for some reason, Liberty and Toby are sad they didn't know you better. Emma, Manny and Emma's Parents are here, they're guilty, and Craig too, and he's...well in his own world. I'm gonna miss you Ellie." Jimmy and Ash walked back to ther seats to see nothing really changed.

"Paige, come on lets say goodbye to El." Paige sniffled hard and nodded, getting up and Spinner followed. Marco was the first to speak. "Well El, um..." Marco gave a quick laugh. "I don't know what to say really, I'm going to miss all of the things we did together, with Paige, Ash and everyone, if only highschool never ended, right? Take care of yourself, wherever your going, but I'm sure heaven will sure miss an angel." Marco smiled and sniffled himself. Paige cleared her throat.

"El, what you did was stupid, you were doing better, you haven't cut since highschool, and I'll never forgive the stupid thing you did. But Ellie, it dosen't matter, because I think it was a accsident, and it dosen't change a god damn thing." Paige said without wiping her eyes or sniffiling. Marco and Paige left, so Spin could talk to her alone.

"Um, Ellie, sorry, if I did something. It kinda is my fault you and Sean broke up. If I had the balls to even say the truth, then maybe things would be different. Damn it, I'm just so pissed since, well we're friends, I should have noticed something was up, or I would think you would have called me. But, it's the past, right? It'll blow over like the shooting, and I'll stop being so mad. Bye Ellie." Spinner walked back to his seat.

Alex stood up and nuged Jay, who sighed out of annoyance to cover that he was really sad, and got up. Alex took a deep breath and sighed. "Hey Miss. Vampy, I guess this is the last chance to talk to you, right? Well I might as well come clean, I thought my ex-best friend AKA: Amy, was a whore and didn't deserve Sean, and you and Sean were, dare I say, the cutest couple of all time. I'll miss you, oh, and if you could, come talk to me when your a vampire, or Paige, or someone." Alex smiled and nuged Jay who looked up and sighed.

"Alright Red, now I know we didn't know each other the best, but Sean, man, he was one of my best friends. And I know he loved you _much _more than he ever liked Emma. And for the book, he only kept comming back to Em because everything was always changing, and he wanted the past back. Sorry I didn't tell earlier, later Red." Jay half-heartedly smiled and patted Ellie's stiff shoulder, and went back to his seat with Alex.

Manny was blank while Emma was just doing the same routine over and over. _Sniff, rub temples, Cough, Sniff, rub temples, Cough. _"Em, lets go up." Manny suggested, Emma just nodded and got up out of her seat and walked over to Ellie's casket. "Um, hi Ellie. I'm sorry about the whole Craig thing." Manny sniffed. "But you have to understand. I worked so hard to get Craig, with Ashley, Craig moving, our Abortion, and with you, I'm sorry." Manny took a step back slightly and looked to Emma, who took her place at the coffin.

"You know, I hear that Self-Injury and Anorexia are kinda linked because Anorexics and Bulimics cut themselves as a form of punnishment when they eat. So I guess we might have had somethings in common, I'm really sorry I didn't get to know you better...but thanks for backing me up slightly with the GM Foods thing way back." Emma nodded and went back to her seat. Marco patted Paige on the back and stepped outside the funeral parlor to get some fresh air to stop himself from crying. He went outside and hugged his legs agenst the brick wall next to the door, and burried his head in his legs.

Marco sighed and looked up to the sky that was grey, and about to rain, Marco stood up and noticed a cab stop in front of the funeral Parlor, and a firmiliar man step out in a army uniform. Marco let his mouth hang open slightly as he sow Sean Hope Cameron in the flesh, after years of not. Sean ran to the doors bearly noticing Marco until he was standing next to him. Sean stopped dead in his tracks and looked down, sniffinling once or twice before making eye contact.

"H-Hey Marco, I heard what happened..." Sean broke off for a moment. "...And um, I wanted to pay my respects..." Sean mumbled, Marco smiled sadly slightly and put a hand on Sean's back to guid him into the funeral.

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**Sean's POV**

I couldn't belive the last 24 hours. First, I heard that my ex-girlfriend died, a suposide suiside. I then begged, litteraly, my commaning officer to let me go back home for just a couple of hours, I finaly got him to agree after about a half-hour of non-stop begging. I ran into a Asian **(AN: Sorry to annyone offended about that.) **woman at the airport who started yelling at me in Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, or Korean. I ran away to get a cab fast, and finaly thought that I could finaly get to the funeral. However, the cab driver mis-heard me and instead of taking me to the funeral, took me to a mall, I then repeated myself to him and he took me to the funeral, paying double for the mix up.

I didn't see Marco standing at the door until i was next to him, I then stopped and tried the hard task of forming coherent words after the wave of saddness I felt knowing that I would never be able to speak, love or get together with Ellie again. "H-Hey Marco, I heard what happened..." I tried to say my old friend's name instead of Ellie. "...And um, I wanted to pay my respects..." No, I wanted to yell at god asking him why he had to take my angel from me. I felt reasured as Marco put his hand on my back, smiling a broken smile and saying:

"It's this way Sean."

I now was in front of the door Marco had led me too, but stopped abruptly in front of it. I knew that this was Ellie's room at that moment, and took a deep breathe and opened the door quietly and slowly. I walked into the room with Marco at my heels and looked around to see everyone I ever knew at Degrassi in one room. I looked around and sow everyone, Jimmy who I never sow in a wheel chair, next to Ashley, Spinner, Hazel, Craig and Paige. I then sow Jay, Alex, Manny, Emma, Snake, Spike, Liberty, Toby, JT-. No, I stopped myself, I was too used to saying Liberty, Toby and JT, JT was gone too, like Rick and now Ellie.

I also sow a few people I didn't know, like a girl that dressed punk like Ellie a little but with straight black hair next to Spinner, and also a man sitting with curly brown hair sitting next to Paige. Marco sow me looking at then and read my mind. "The girl sitting next to Spin is Jane, his girlfriend, Jimmy is now over the whole shooting thing, and is dating Ash, but Spin just got diagnosed with testicular cancer, but is getting better." I nodded for Marco to continue. "The guy sitting by himself is Jesse, Ellie just broke up with him because he almost had sex with Catlin Ryan while he was dating El." Before I could give my take on Jesse, Paige was suddenly storming up to me, vivid.

_SLAP!_ Every head in the parlor snapped to me, the opposite of what I wanted to happen. Why couldn't it just be a peaceful funeral? I grabbed my cheek which Paige slapped and looked to her, knowing I deserved it. "Where the hell have you been? Ellie's been reported _d-dead_ for a _week!_Where the hell have you been!" I knew Paige would be angry, but I didn't know that her nails would hurt so bad. It took a while for a message to get to a soldier in Iraq, especially about a ex-girlfriend. Marco softly yet firmly grabbed Paige's hand and helped her to calm down slowly, and she then looked to me apologetically. "S-Sorry Sean, that was out of line..."

All I was concerned about at the moment was going to see Ellie one last time in the flesh. I nodded to Paige and walked up to Ellie. She could have passed for sleeping she was so peaceful, I sow the freshly made scars Ellie made peeking through the dark dresses sleeves folded neatly atop her stomach. I slowly, hesitantly, caressed Ellie's cold hand as I spoke the last words I may speak to her. "Ellie, I'm sorry for leaving you alone after the shooting, I know how much you were hurting and it was selfish, so selfish I should have come back every so often, or at least something to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry I wasn't ever able to tell you how much I admired you," I slid my hand down her hand to one of the cuts on her porcelien wrist and ghosted my fingers over it. "and how much I loved you. I'm sorry Ellie, and I wish I could take it back."

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**Sorry I'm cutting you off there, but I think it was an okay ending I guess, pls review.**


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